I got married when I was 25. That’s practically illegal in LA.
Over and over I heard:
It’s super hard.
You’re too young.
Are you really ready to sleep with only one person for the rest of your life?
The first year is going to suck.
You’re going to fight a lot.
You do not really know what it is like to live with a guy.
The first year is really going to suck.
If you can just get through the first year, you will be good to go for a while.
So, I would come home and tell my fiance, all of these ‘truths’. Finally, and thank god, he stopped me and was like “F that, it is going to be awesome”. And I was like ‘oh yeah, duh, F that, it IS going to be really awesome!”
We decided and committed to the ‘truth’ that it was going to be really, really, really awesome and fun and that we’d laugh all the time and have so much fun together and it’d be the best years of our lives. ESPECIALLY in the first year.
It has been almost 9 years and it has been more awesome than I could have ever dreamed it would be. Why? Because we decided it would be.
So here we are 9 years later about to embark on another journey as our baby is almost ready to make her debut. (!!!!!!!!!!!) We hear:
Get ready for sleepless nights.
Biggest challenge of your lives.
You’re gonna want to jump off a bridge at some point.
Oh just wait for the anxiety and depression postpartum.
You’re never going to sleep again.
Make sure you sleep now.
Good thing they are cute.
You’re marriage is basically over.
You’re not gonna get a vacation for at least 18 years.
Hope you’re ready to give up your hobbies.
You’re gonna be a slave to that baby.
This time I was a whole lot smarter. I mentally plug my ears singing “la la lalallalala la la la” as the stranger in Trader Joe’s projectile projects her thoughts on me or the well intended friend word vomits her experience all over my beautiful, bountiful baby bump and me.
We have decided that having a baby is going to be the biggest gift we could ever receive, that she is going to make our hearts burst wide open, that we are going be stronger and more connected as a couple, that we are going to be so in love we won’t know what to do with ourselves. (shout out to all the lovers that do tell us the above!!!!).
Having a baby and raising a child is going to be the best thing we have ever embarked on. Again, because we decided it would be.
Some say it’s delusional. But so is the flip side. It is truly such a privilege to have such a wonderful choice to make.
We can do this with every little thing in our lives. From a thing at work, to the weather, to how we love our family and our friends and to the laundry.
As many of you know, I will be soaking in the shine of this baby girl for the next few months and will return to teaching and coaching in the late fall :). Let’s stay in touch over Instagram @sparkyourshine and Facebook where I will post pics and updates!